insights on career, life, and love.

brooklyn bridge

on career:
getting what you want is the easy part; it’s knowing that’s hard. luckily, from a fairly young age, i’ve always had an inclination of what i wanted to do and what needed to be done in order to reach those goals. though i couldn’t have predicted exactly what path i would take, almost everything i’ve done to date has been a manifestation of those goals. to say the least, i’m driven. it is abhorrent to every instinct in my body to not try where i know i can succeed. and i’ve grown up with the mentality that i can succeed in any arena that i’m truly passionate about. make no mistake, i don’t always get what i want, but i see no problem in that if along the way, you’re honest, work hard and stay true to yourself.

at this point in my life, i live in new york city and am working on growth in media relations and production. again, expansion in this field is just a small cog in the ultimate plan. if years ago, i told you i would do all i’ve accomplished now, you would’ve either a.) thought i was crazy or b). not cared. relevance is everything and i’ve learned that the time and manner in which one discloses information is crucial and can be highly indicative of success or failure.

when i think about my career and the future, i get stressed and nervous but mostly excited. i always think of one of my favorite john mayer lyrics: “i’d like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve.”

on life:
when people say that ‘everything happens for a reason,’ it makes me slightly irrate… to believe this insinuates that every single incident is designed to inflict a certain outcome. also, regardless of religious views, to say this infers that there is some higher deity that picks and chooses to whom, what happens, that our actions have no effect on what is “predestined.” i don’t believe any of that is true. things occur every day — some good, some bad, some absolutely devastating, some within our control, and most without. though i don’t necessarily believe that everything happens for a reason, i will say that they tend to work themselves out. if your only other option is dwelling, it’s only a matter of time before you move on.

my belief is in ownership of your own actions. we are in as much control as we want. of course things don’t always pan out as we hope. of course we can’t plan for what’s unforseen; we can only react but i do believe in proactivity as much as possible.

people sometimes assume, from what they gather, that my life is perfect, but they’re wrong. i’ve experienced a lot and i’ve worked hard for what i have. for the most part, i agree that i seem happy because i am. i’m human too though — i bleed, i cry, i get sad, just not publicly or that i choose to linger on. regardless of what happens, given the chance, i will always choose to move forward and remain optimistic.

on love:
if you know me at all, talking about emotions in this area is not my strong point. i’m 22 years old and have only said “i love you” in a romantic capacity within two relationships. i did not have a legitimate boyfriend once in college. to my very close friends who are reading this, i know what you’re thinking and i will make one comment: he didn’t count.

as a product of three time divorce (my parents and each of their marriages thereafter), i find expressing love in this way, harder to come by than someone else might. i refuse to be a prisoner of the past, but i would be stupid not to learn from my experiences. surprisingly though, i think that my approach on the topic is more lighthearted and less complicated than expected. for most matters and this especially, my motto has always been, ‘it is what it is.’ people tell me that i come across as confident and appear well put together. for that i’m thankful, but it only stems from the acceptance that everything is usually as it appears. too often people overcomplicate relationships by looking for “clues” or trying to find meaning where it doesn’t exist. even if there is more, i’ve found it’s best to just let it surface in its own time. i stopped doing that when i came to the realization that people do what they want. if a guy wants to call, he will, if he wants to spend time with you,  he’ll make time. and as hard as it can be, i try not to take it personally when interest isn’t reciprocated.

as far as relationships go, i’m not at all opposed to them. in truth, i would love to be in one. HOWEVER, unlike throngs of people i know, i’m not willing to partake in one just for the sake of it or at the expense of my standards. i’ve never understood people who bounce from relationship to relationship, quick to exclaim love in each one. as far as love in my near future though, the city and the celtics are more than enough.

xoxo,
jessica

1 Comment

    In response to your “On Life” insight: It could be that the reason some things we feel are terrible happen is because of forgetfulness of the simplicity of life. Fear of getting too close to a fire is kind of normal if you are close to a fire. But it seems fear, because it was given too much attention over long periods of time by many people, has become largely amplified to the point of acute mass dysfunction. That is what allows people to create enemies out of each other and commit atrocities.

    The past is what it is – over and subject to memory; which is slippery. Also, inference always creeps in when people are in discussion about it.

    It’s probably better to leave it alone rather than try to understand it. Human history has tragic misfortune in it. Fortunately we have the ability to be highly aware and not repeat it. By understanding the living present, perhaps the past can make more sense if it is important to us.

    It seems that the more self understanding, compassion and empathy someone has, the less they need to drag the past along back into the present.

    I’m glad you always default back to optimism. Me too.

    Best.

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