psa on pda.

i feel like i’ve been saying this a lot lately, but i really have been meaning to get around to this post for a while. it was given priority status when i encountered an especially gross, more so than usual, public display of affection.

with summer upon us, and the weather in the city growing increasingly humid, there is nothing i’ve come to dread more than descending underground to wait for the subway. i didn’t think anything could top the unbearable combination of sheer heat and my impatience. unfortunately, i was wrong.

a couple weeks ago, after a lovely evening at butter, where i donned my favorite asymmetrical dress and drank at the table of an alexander skarsgard look-a-like, my two friends and i decided to call it a night and headed to catch the 6, at astor place. as i swapped footwear, i tiredly scanned the platform and was instantly caught off guard by a couple, very unabashedly and un-apologetically, kissing. i can appreciate passion, but what i, and everyone else on the platform witnessed, was gaudiness as its finest. what’s worse, is this couple wasn’t even particularly good looking, which might allow me to salvage some sort of saving grace on their behalf, but no. clearly, there was nothing else to do but mock the couple. so i stood in front of them as blatantly as they were making out, peace sign up, and smile on my face.

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in the days that passed, the couple did not cross my mind further. with the nba finals in full gear, my only¬†focuses were: rondo, garnett, pierce, allen, kendrick perkins’ leg, and big baby’s salivary glands. on the fateful evening of game 7, i left the bar i had been watching from — in the dullest of spirits, fighting the impending deluge of tears i knew were coming, and walked to the 6 train at 59th and lexington. it was homeward bound for me, and i had a half dozen cupcakes and a xanax at home awaiting my arrival. as i could no longer hold back, i looked up and around, desperately trying to reabsorb the tears that managed to escape. as i scanned the platform, who did i see?! but of course, that same couple! not only making out, but actually laying on a bench, bodies mashed together, hip thrusting! again, i had no choice but to accept the momentary relief in my sadness and mock the couple, once and for all.

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couples of the world: listen up! if in public, you’re doing more than hand holding, or pop kissing, it’s too much! let me follow that, by saying as someone who was once voted (and rightfully so) ‘horniest girl alive’, if i think what you’re doing in public is inappropriate, it’s probably inappropriate. be respectful of your relationship and have consideration for those around you. save the more intimate stuff, for a more intimate setting — subway platforms not applicable.

pda rules aside, what are the odds that i would run into the same couple, twice, at any given time or place in new york city? probably not good for someone normal, but stuff like this happens to me quite often: running into an ex at caesars’ palace during an impromptu trip to vegas, or getting out of a cab on a street corner at the exact moment that the last guy i slept with, happens to be walking towards me entangled in another female. the world and manhattan are much smaller than i’d prefer, but that’s my life — a series of unfortunate, stupid coincidences in which i have no choice but to laugh merrily in the face of.

xoxo,
jessica

1 Comment

    It’s great that you got the photos. These types of random re-encounters happen to me all the time, too! And I live in DC now, so a bit smaller than NYC. But still, what are the chances?

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